Sexy Man Bag

Every year, on the last day of school, we teachers have a lunch/awards ceremony at a nearby restaurant. It is honestly one of my favorite things we do as a staff because by the end of the year, people start to get annoyed with one another and sweat the small stuff, so it's a nice reminder of our friendships/camaraderie with each other. The awards are spearheaded by two of our veteran teachers, Cheryl and Barb (my Kindergarten co-conspirator) who do a fantastic job of digging up "dirt" on everyone. They send around a little sheet to everyone during the last month of school to jot down interesting tidbits. Nothing is off-limits, no story is too big or too small.

My first year, while teaching preschool, I got the "Juggling Award" because I was teaching preschool, working at Wal-Mart, and planning a wedding. My "award" consisted of a pair of children's underwear (because one of my T-Th students got diarrhea really bad and it was everywhere), a smiley face antenna ball, and a bouquet of fake flowers.

My second year, my first teaching Kindergarten, I got the "Most New Experiences Award" because while measuring how tall/short my students were one day, one of my students referred to my breasts as my "wigglies." My "award" that year was a pen and a journal to write about my experiences.

Last year, I got the "Dog-eared Award" because one day, when I had a OB appointment, I had a substitute teacher (who happened to be our preschool teacher). I left precise instructions for the afternoon, complete with what to do if she had extra time (read a chapter in "Junie B. Jones." The chapter we are on is dog-eared). Well, the sub took that to mean that the chapter was CALLED dog-eared, not that the actual page was dog-eared (folded down, to the layperson). So, I received bookmarks, so I would no longer dog-ear my books.

I am fairly certain I already know what my award will be for this year. See, Mark and I like to recycle bags-gift bags, bags from stores, etc. We use plastic bags for Ethan's diapers and use paper bags (like Bath & Body Works, Victoria's Secret, etc.) for gifts or for our lunches. Well, when Adam was visiting, he must've shopped at Abercrombie (cause we all know I don't shop there-I am ginormous, according to their standards). He had a bag from there, along with a few others that he was just gonna throw away. I told him to leave them here and that we would find a use for them. A few days later, I needed a new lunch bag (the bottom was wearing out on my blue gift bag), so I started using what I called my "sexy man bag." I've been using it ever since (about a month).

Anyways, yesterday, a few of the teachers noticed my sexy man bag and were like, "Oh my goodness! That bag is almost obscene! Do you carry that bag around in front of your students?" I replied that I liked the bag for its sturdy handles (not the man's sturdy handles) and that I set it under my desk so the kids would see the steaminess of my man. Well, someone must've been paying attention because no more than an hour later, my bag had vanished from beneath my desk (the contents, however, were left there for the mice visitors we occasionally have). I know this is going to come back and haunt me, so I am playing it up!!! Later this week, I am bringing a lunch in a plain gift bag with sexy men (Hugh Jackman, Brad Pitt) pasted on the side. If that's the worst dirt they can dig up, BRING IT ON!!!

P.S.-Our awards ceremony is June 4th. I will keep you posted as to what my "award" is this year...