I had choir again tonight. As we begin Holy Week and continue to get closer to Easter, our practices get longer and longer. Anyways, after rehearsing for an hour, the brass quintet (trumpets, trombone, tuba, & French horn) came to rehearse with us, our organist, and our conductor. They all walked in...no big man. Ohhhh...what a relief. Oh, wait, what is that coming up the stairs? It's a bird, it's a plane, it's....stinky brass man! See, when the brass came last year (and I was "with child,") this really large trombone player sat right in front of me. And I don't know how much you know about pregnant women, but hormonal, sweaty, puffy pregnant lady vs. stinky, greasy, 500 lb. instrumentalist is not a good combination. I was not exactly quiet when his stench would bother me (often) and after getting the dry heaves during one mass, actually sprayed the behemoth with body spray.
Needless to say, I was not pleased to see him or his even larger body again this year. He also has not improved on his personal hygiene since last year-smell still lingering, greasy hair still oily enough to cook a vat of french fries...YUCK! And I think he remembers me, because he didn't look too pleased to see me, either. What did I ever do to him...besides try to make him smell like Victoria's Secret 'Love Spell' for mine and my baby's health and well-being?
I am now taking up donations for body spray, perfume/cologne, and car air fresheners (this guy is probably about the same size). You know where to find me...
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